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Ask Trish - February 2003 - This month…embarrassing questions sent anonymously

by Patricia Dates O'Brien
February 1, 2003

Ask Trish - February 2003

Hi fellow dancers! This month, may I present Embarrassing Questions Sent Anonymously, for your education, and entertainment…

Achieving that perky Latin look



Dear Trish,

I happen to be an attractive female dancer in the Latin division, with an embarrassing problem no one else in my division seems to share: saggy boobs! Please do not patronize me by telling me you're sure they're just fine. I've had children, and I know 'em when I see 'em, ok? So Trish, is there anything I can do, short of surgery, to achieve that perky Latin look??? I tried double-sided carpet tape once, but it really hurt when I pulled it off…..

    Signed,
    Despondent in Des Moines

Dear Double-D (Heehee)

Trust me, there are very few Latin competitors who naturally have that "perky" look. So feel better, ok? They all know someone you haven't been introduced to yet, however. Bobby Tan, of DanzWorld USA, is your man with the plan. Lucky for you, Bobby stocks 2 products guaranteed to make your…spirits…lift. (Heehee)

1. DanceSport Body Glue comes in a white roll-on, similar to a deodorant bottle. Roll the glue on your parts, then roll it on the inside of your costume, wait 30 seconds, then stick 'em all together and hold on for another 30 seconds. Your body parts will stay put for the length of your competition!

Pros: Total control over what stays where. Will stay glued, even when you sweat, and yet is water-soluble, meaning it washes right out.

Cons: Do not get this product on the outside of your costume! It's pretty hard to spot-clean it off while you're in the panic of getting ready for a comp, because it's so sticky. It does dry, but it dries kind of crusty. Also, make sure you shower after using the glue, as the crustiness makes you look like you have a rare skin condition. Still, its a handy product that has saved many a dancer! (about $15, at competitions nationwide, or at www.danzworldusa.com.)

2. Bobby's newest product is "Bring It Up" instant breast lifts. For those of you who missed the R-rated, yet oh-so-informative, instructional video for "Bring It Up" that debuted at the DanzWorld booth at the last Ohio Star Ball….ask your male partner about them, 'cause I'm sure he's seen the video and can show you how to use them.

For those of you who missed the video, "Bring It Up" lifts are semicircles of tape (but not as harsh as your carpet tape!) that you stick on in halves, thereby "bringing up" the parts. They have cute little scissors pictures where you can trim them, depending on what cup size you are.

Pros: They work, and they do make it look like you've been lifted. Good for everyday clothing, which is usually made of thinner material and/or devoid of the bulletproof bra cups in Dancesport costumes. No sticky stuff to contend with. Gives a more "natural" look.

Cons: Do not attempt these anywhere but in the privacy of your own bathroom, as using "Bring It Up" in front of your significant other will make you lose any last shred of feminine mystique you have spent your whole life cultivating. In fact, even my best girlfriend laughed at my "boob wrinkles" when I first tried to "Bring It Up." Just bring your costume into the bathroom with you and hide the evidence.

Also, the shape of "Bring It Up" is rounded, so using them and then pulling on anything with a deep-v neckline or low cut armholes will make you look like you had a bad run-in with a Scotch tape dispenser. ($25, at Bobby's booth at the comps, or www.danzworldusa.com.)



Bring It Up Lifters - before and after



Where to buy the lifters



Trish



How to prevent toxic sweat

Trish—

OHMIGOD! The last time I wore my costume, I wore it the ENTIRE competition before my stupid partner told me my armpits were a different color then the rest of the costume! UGH! They were bright YELLOW, while the rest of the costume is LIME GREEN. Everybody saw it!!! I am soooo embarrassed. Is my sweat, like, toxic or something? Should I get surgery to have my sweat glands removed?

    —I am SO not signing my name.


Ok…Dear anonymous—

First of all, surgery is not an option because sweat glands are a necessary part of your body, the part that cools you off when you overheat. So you won't even find a doctor who will do it, ok? Secondly, I'm pretty sure that not EVERYBODY saw your sweat stains, because my Great-Aunt Millie was at that competition with me (that's right, I was there and I SAW them, OHMIGOD!) and she's legally blind, so I'm sure you looked darn good to her. So now that we have that out of the way…

The stains on your costume are a result of the salt in your sweat glands in your pits. Certain colors of fabric, like lime greens, oranges, and yellows, will react worse to sweat stains by changing colors completely. Unfortunately, if you want to prevent the stains, you have to decrease the sweat, and wash your costume immediately after each wearing.

Antiperspirants that contain aluminum chloride are more potent than your average sweat-stopper. Look for Certain-Dri, around $4.99 at most drugstores. This will decrease the potential for stains. If that doesn't do the trick, you can go to your doctor and get a prescription for a high-concentration aluminum chloride lotion. One application of the lotion is good for a few days, but it is strong and stings quite a bit. However, the effects are cumulative, and you will be able to use less of the lotion over time.

As for cleaning your costume, good old soap and water should do the trick, if you clean it right away and hang it to dry. Good luck with your pits!




Patricia Dates O'Brien is a Dancesport competitor and makeup know-it-all. She does makeup and hair styles for dancers at most major dance competitions, and can give makeup and hair consultations by appointment. To make an appointment, ask a question, or for more information, email Trish at TrishDatesOBrien@aol.com.

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